The past couple of months have been challenging. I have been fluctuating between tons of emotions, and struggling to find a sane balance. But with all the chaos that went on around me, I didn’t need someone to tell me I was doing it all wrong.
I realized that I no longer had a spirit of my own. Amid fist-clenching the past, I had tied the entirety of my being to others. I was spending time responding to the needs of others—so much that I had forgotten about my own needs.
My happiness revolved around the approval of others; what was okay for me to do, say, wear, by their own standards. When I could be happy was when they said so. I was slowly becoming a shadow of myself, and I knew it.
But why did I keep holding on to all the bull crap, enduring the melt downs, picking myself up, only to fall to ground again? Was it the love that I had for these people, or the lack of love I had for myself? What exactly was I afraid of?
Each day is like a scuffle against myself. To live or not to live. To hold on, or to let go. To cut ties, or build new ones. And this is me, my early steps to re-structuring my thoughts, and a conscious effort to be back in charge; full of optimism, and mental strength to face my fears head on.
I believe there’s a great life ahead for everyone, and you too can take charge of your life. But first, you must be willing to give yourself a chance to pursue it.
Happiness could mean letting go, cutting ties, and starting again from scratch. But if it will be worth it, why not give it a shot?
“There’s a great adventure ahead, but first we must release the ash to sail with cold winds over the open sea. Then we must burrow the sands for hidden treasures we had stridden on.”